hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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