why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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