i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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