In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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