If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
3pm strippers are depressing
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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