I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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