A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
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