I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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