either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize