Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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