the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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