dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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