I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
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