I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
im holly from the hills drunk
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize