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i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
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