We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
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you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
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Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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