So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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