I want to walk on stilts...naked
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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