dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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