She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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