his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize