You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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