well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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