I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize