I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
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I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
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I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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