Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize