we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Every concussion has its silver lining
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize