I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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