ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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