Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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