Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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