I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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