Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize