it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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