K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i already hear my dad disowning me
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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