Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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