dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
COCAINE IS GR8
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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