So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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