i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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