You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
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He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
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It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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