Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
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I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
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Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
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