Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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