Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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