I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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