"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
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Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
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he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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