just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
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If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
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He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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