She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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