I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize