I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize