CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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